I’ve observed a lot of criticism of social media and communication in the last decade or more, especially in terms of the flood of information coming at us daily. To some extent I agree, we deal with literally thousands and thousands of messages daily via all different mediums. How much is actually relevant?
In this post I would like to present some balance around how important communication can be in reducing stress in daily life. Being able to find the correct message at the correct time can often be crucial in helping us understand and make sense of what is really happening around us. We can also consciously contribute and add our own voice and perspectives to this conversation.
Being woken at night with a lot of noise, like nothing I’ve heard before
I’ve had a difficult week, with quite a lot of stress leading to less sleep than usual. So yesterday (Friday evening) I went to bed early, exhausted and glad for the weekend ahead. At around 3am, I woke up in fright and confusion. What was that loud noise? My brain was trying to process and place it, while adrenaline rushed through my body. My first thought was that it was a motorbike revving. But then it just kept going. It wasn’t just like a “normal” motorbike sound, where the rev takes a few seconds, then the sound peaks, then disappears into the distance. It continued, very loud.
Then what was that backfiring sound? Or was it actually machine gun fire? We’ve had some news reports recently of bombs being created by teenagers and set off in our neighbourhood (thankfully with no injuries, but still!!!). Was it related? I listened, trying to decide what to do. Was it a threat? Did I need to check on my children? Though capable young adults, they are still my first thought at any hint of danger. Did we need to take action? Were we safe?
The sound faded, a little, then started up again. And again. Still, I struggled to place it. Then another layer of sound, like a helicopter. Maybe the emergency services were on their way? No, I didn’t hear familiar sirens, just more “noise”. Certainly a motor-like sound, but only small parts of the sound pattern were familiar, like a motorbike, but not “normal” motorbike sounds. And it was strange that it just continued, in the early hours of the morning.
I went up to my balcony. Was it safe to go outside? I couldn’t see any lights or anything out of the ordinary, just the noise. Still couldn’t place the noise, but it had faded more. My children hadn’t appeared from their rooms, and no text from them in our group chat so I assumed they weren’t concerned enough to need me. I went back to bed. The sound was slightly more distant. But then peaked again. Then dropped. I started recording a voice note of the sound. Considered uploading to Chat GPT to ask for help identifying it. Decided not to.
I thought, as I have many times in recent years, of the people in war zones. Of those who are struggling in our world. I did what I’ve been learning to do, try to clear my mind, send them “love” and “sterkte” and try to be grateful for my life, and not guilty that I don’t do more. I focussed on peace and calm. Still I heard some sound, but more in the distance. Then, extremely tired, and with no real immediate threat, drifted back to sleep.
Later this morning, I woke again still concerned and confused. I live in The Hague but Dutch is not my native language. I scanned some local news sites but saw nothing. I notice I am unsettled and still have some level of fear. The NATO summit is coming up later this month and we have increasing security measures in our city. I start my morning routine, coffee, feeding our pet bunny. Still no sign of my teenagers to ask how they are…they will emerge at some stage!
Then, a voice message from my friend in Delft, responding from mine last night….she was exhausted from a big week as well – and when she did sleep, was woken by
…a horrific sound…this noise was like 20 motorbikes, chainsaw, drill and machine guns, that’s how loud it was. It was like a scene from Mad Max and it was going on for like 10 minutes at 4 o’clock in the morning.
Her teenage daughter came into her room “what’s going on, I’m so scared!”. She (my friend) said she didn’t know, but when they looked outside from their balcony, she could see lights in the distance and hear sirens. Like me, she listened, and it went on and off for about half an hour, and after that she couldn’t sleep again.
So what was it?
Dutch is not my native language so when searching the news again this morning I wasn’t sure what to look for. I tried “geluid Ypenburg” (noise/name of my neighbourhood) in Google. Nothing. Also aware though it can take time to show up on Google. Chat online to my boyfriend – try “geluidsoverlast” (noise causing problems) and I added “Delft” considering my friend heard it there too. He also suggested trying Twitter – though he doesn’t use it anymore. Logged onto my old account as haven’t used Twitter in ages. Bingo….
From there, I was able to do further research. It was indeed motorbikes – and more than 20. English translation…
Last night was Luilak in Delft. With the motto “Luilak Lives, Delft Trembles”, hundreds of motorcycles, scooters and other vehicles took to the streets of Delft. The aim of the gathering was not only to have fun but also to make a lot of noise, as tradition dictates.
Relief now my brain knows how to “file this” experience safely
Ah ha. Now I know what it was, I can place it. I still am tired from being woken up, and the few hours of concern. I now know to be especially kind to myself for a few days after these kind of experiences. I’ve been learning a lot about trauma in recent years, for various reasons. Especially as a society, with COVID, wars and much more coming at us in media and communications, a lot of us have, quite understandably, become extra sensitive to “smaller” (but confusing and unfamiliar) experiences like this.
Before, I might have judged myself for “being silly” and worrying unnecessarily. Ultimately though – now I KNOW what the sound was, and that it wasn’t a threat, I can file this experience more safely in my brain and body and move past it much more quickly than if I’d just been still unsure about what it was.
My teenagers are now awake – and didn’t hear anything!!! So indeed, my worry about them was unfounded in this case, but that’s part of the package of being a parent I guess. Though being “highly sensitive” and neurodivergent can be a burden at times, there are many times when it is very useful, so I don’t want to numb this.
What next?
The next action I took, was to go one step further. This is something that’s grown from many years of using and teaching social media. “Sharing is caring”. Well it can be, done in a kind and conscious way.
I was one of the original founders of, past chairperson of, and still a community member of Delft MaMa. This is actually how I first met my friend mentioned above. It is a community of thousands of international parents in Delft. I knew there were likely to be many others who were woken and confused and possibly worried. So I shared the below in the Delft MaMa Facebook group….
Sure enough, within a half hour, six comments already from others who were concerned, and/or sharing more information about this. The article above that I linked to is here:
https://district8.net/luilak-leeft-delft-beeft-zet-delft-opnieuw-op-zijn-kop.html?
And there, thanks to whichever journalists were up at that crazy time, we can experience it via this video:
Community connection and information sharing
What I loved to see in the comments under my Facebook post above was a connection between both the international community and native Dutch members. So beyond “what happened”, I’ve now learned more about the “why” from someone who shared more about the tradition this emerged from:
https://nl.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luilak?
This information and knowledge sharing between people is what has happened since the beginning of humanity. From small village gossip to the days of messages carried on horseback, with pigeons, then more and more technology, faster and faster…..
What communication means to me, is being able to make sense of what’s happening around me, and feel safer and more connected.
Our impact on each other
The community conversation above did raise issues and concerns about the effect of something like this on a lot of people. Was it ok that so many of us were scared and didn’t actually know what was going on? Not just last night – but pretty much every day, we are affected by acts of others. How do we solve that? How do we simply survive and cope?
With my journalist training, it’s tempting to try and seek out someone who was involved and on a bike, and ask them what they were thinking and feeling. And were they aware of the negative impact on others? Did they care? Or not? Why?
Always so many questions – but not enough time to explore them all and never really an “end” to it. So I also have to learn to “switch off” each individual experience I have like this. I’m grateful though to have spent time studying communication skills and using them when needed, for example figuring out how to filter information, and which platforms to use, when and for which purposes. This morning have enjoyed taking some time to write this blog post….I’ve done this for almost a decade. I just checked, and have now published 971 posts! I do these just when I can find the time, all around the theme of “connect, communicate, educate”. Some are around events I’ve attended, others like this are my own thoughts.
The value of local and community media
For almost 15 years now, I have also volunteered my time to run the website The Hague Online to keep the international community informed with news, events and information in English. Though AI is making it easier and easier for anyone to simply translate local news sites into their own language, my mission is to bring my own personal human perspective beyond tech translation. I spend a lot of time scanning sites and press releases, choosing some to translate and share, and sending out a weekly enewsletter.
I actually set up Delft Online as well (with my daughter), but we have limited time and haven’t done much with this for some time. Sadly as a society we often devalue communication and expect it provided for free, which means that community sites like mine rely on “free labour” and there are limits to what I can achieve alongside my work at The Hague University of Applied Sciences as a lecturer.
However writing for The Hague Online is something I enjoy and do for myself too – it also helps me feel more connected to the local community and understand what’s going on around me.
Writing a blog post like this also helps me process and reflect and share these experiences in my life and my perception of them. I’m always interested in hearing from others via a comment below, or you can connect on LinkedIn.
Renee 🙂
Zestee 